As we enter into this new decade, I attempted to look back on how it began. I tried to remember what it looked like in 2010. I tried to see what my mindset was like and where I was at. I tried to find pictures, maybe something I wrote down or a letter to myself. Nothing, not one thing showed up. The truth is, I couldn’t because I was not even a year clean and sober. Nothing was making sense, I was still in a fear based mindset and was hanging on by the seat of my pants. I am certain of this, I was dug in, meaning I had my head down, not looking anyone in the face. I was most likely keeping my distance from everything and everyone I had spent the past twenty five years with. I was on probation, I was going to AA and was not sure if any of this was for me.
I can’t see any of this clearly, I can’t truly reflect on it because of where and what I walk in today, freedom!
“Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
John 8:34-36 NIV
Yes I was a slave, my mindset was still so clouded that I knew nothing of being free. I had nothing to set a foundation on. But somewhere in the middle of this decade, along came Jesus. He showed up or the truth be told, I let Him in! I gave in to the stubbornness that lived in my head and let He who lived in my heart awaken! Immediately I saw and felt things differently! As I cleared my mind of all that I was, as I put the old me to rest, I stepped into who He said I am…
“So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:16-19 NIV
Yes, I am a new creation! In this newness, I became free indeed! The old is covered by the blood, so much so, that I can’t even see it! What a gift that is! Yes explanation points rule those sentences, because that is exciting news, it is important, it is truth!
I have been asked, what is different from your sobriety before Jesus, then your sobriety after you awakened to Him being in you? It is simple in a complex sort of way… complex in that I made it that way at first. I felt like I had to strive, had to do or be something in order to be “saved”. The truth is that it is far different than that. I just need to rest in the Father. That is believe that He is there for me. Believe that no matter what happens, His intentions towards me are good. Believe that no matter who I was He still loves and will always love me!
What happened to me as this grew inside me is an amazing story. Those things I use to strive for, I use to try work hard for, became easy and natural. The way I use to try to control my surroundings became not necessary. I was able to just be! I look to Him, just as Jesus did.
“Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”
John 5:19 NIV
“Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.”
John 14:10 NIV
The blue print was walked out before us, all we need to do is follow it. What happened to me is not new. What happened to me has been happening decades before my past decade. Real people have found freedom through something so much greater than ourselves. They walk naturally in Him, with understanding of what it looks like to love one another. I don’t have to work hard today to be like He that walked before me. I am not perfect, but I am perfect in Him. Just like Jesus, I am an example of what the Father is doing. Integrity, honesty, truth and love. These rule my life, not because someone told me I have to, but because it is what He did, what He does. It becomes natural if you let Him be your guide, you then become His example.
It is an honor to walk out a God’s vision for me. It is a gift to be a son of The Most High. Let us not take it for granted or be self righteous in these things. Let us walk this out together in an understanding of what Jesus did for us and has shown us. Be a new creation, be an example, love one another, rest in Him and just be…
Fear to faith 